John Mears (born 1985) is an up-and-coming web designer, painter, consumer, pedestrian, and world-renowned cheese sculptor. Raised by robot wolves in the south of France*, John developed an early taste for art and cool technology that manifested itself in his professional calling later in life. When not solving the world's design problems or making up fantastic stories about himself, he likes to eat, read, travel, draw, riff horrible movies, get lost on the internet, and relax with the latest newfangled videogame.

*I was actually born in Louisiana and have great human parents.